To My Dearest Grandpa

Dear grandpa, I'm sorry that I did not spend enough time with you for the last few days. I finally took some time to come by last afternoon with a little gift that you would be happy seeing. You know it was weird walking in the house seeing odd scenes I've never seen happening in the house. I was looking for you, where were you. I stared at your lazy-chair, the one you loved most and I saw nothing but your pillow, bolster and blanket. Even if its in the living room, you always hid yourself in the blanket. You are one who is afraid of the cold. It was totally unacceptable. I stared long at the spot you will always be at. Then grandma looked at me and said that I was too late. I no longer can taste your curry chicken. I do not know how to react. I thought you were admitted to the hospital again. But no, you left us. You left us, forever. Why wasnt I notified about it. Why dint anyone tell me about it. Why dint anyone call me when you need us most. Why wasnt I around you to see you for the last time. Why wasnt I at your place last morning. Why dint anyone call me...... Why... I feel totally bad not seeing him for the last time before you leave. Why dint anyone call me and tell me about it? Why do I have to find it myself at a totally unprepared condition? Why did you leave us so soon. There is so many things, so many places, so much words, I want to do, I want to bring you, I want to tell you. I want to buy you your favourite mee. I want you to bring you to Taiwan, your favourite place on the world besides home. I want to tell you I'll be earning money and you dont have to worry for me. I can drive very safely that you dont have to call me everytime to remind me. I'll be good. I want to bring you to the cinema watching lame Singaporean movies that you like. You still havent bring me to buy fishes and to the place I could not find, to eat my favourite mee. You havent see me get married. Not even me during my graduation ceremony. You havent see your favourite grandchildren grow. They are still very young and they still need you. Me too. Why dint you wait till the celebration on the country's birthday end of the month, I know you would love to watch programmes about it, and talk about it. I know you love the celebration. Why dint you wait for me to come? Why cant I eat my favourite cookings of yours anymore. Why cant I eat my birthday mee anymore? Why cant I have someone to call and to look for I like always did when I felt helpless alone at home. Why dint you give me the chance to pay whatever I have to. Whatever I owe you. Dont you want them? Why dint you wait for Elaine to come back to show you what can she cook? Why dint you wait for your little grandchildren to score good results? I really thought you luck changed when I was told that you striked lottery twice last two weeks. I want to bring you to shoot more advertisements. You are really good at it. I really enjoy seeing you acting, because I have never seen that in you. I guess I was the only priviledge one who can see you. There was one commercial you did, featured but unfortunately it isnt based in Malaysia. I really would love to see it. Anyone, who is abel to find me a commercial for men's singlet or brief, based in India, Bollywood. My grandpa is a monk in the commercial. In the commercial, you co-star with Bollywood stars. I knew it was tiring but I also knew that you felt very happy later when you receive your pay. I'm really blank now. Where are you. I want to see you. You cannot leave without telling me. Why did you left grandma all alone. She just lost a son and now she lost you. What is grandma going to do. Do you know I am alwayd proud to have you as my grandpa? I always boast around that my grandpa is a awesome curry cooker. All your curry dishes are fantastic and are better than those in restaurant. I'm serious. Some of my friends who tried said they are really really nice. You are really a good cook. I always also said that my grandpa is the coolest grandpa because he has six packs muscles. My grandpa is very handsome and fit. I know you would have stopped smoking if you know it will harm you and caused what happened now today. I know. Grandpa.... I miss you. May you rest in peace. Sincerely, Your Granddaughter.

That Week

The last time I updated this blog was more than a week ago. I remember I had something on mind to blog about but due to problems encountered for the whole last week, I cant remember what was it I want to rant about now. Last week has been a very very difficult week. My uncle, who had advanced lungs and liver cancer was admitted into old folks' home on the second day he left the hospital passed away on the first night of his stay there. We sent him to the old folks' home thinking that there will be more people taking care of him as there is really no one else who can look after him at home. My grandpa is sick too. My grandma is too old to look after two little grandchildren and one very very sick son who can almost do nothing but lying down on the bed. My mum sent me this news early in the morning when I was still dreaming on my bed. She knocked on my door, push a little and whispered to my ears. She said, "Your uncle just passed away. Try not to work today. Help out". I saw her tears rolling down after she finished her sentence. It was to sudden for me. I replied nothing, covered up my face with my blanket and started crying along. This uncle of mine wasnt very close to me. Out of so many family members (mother's side), he is one quiet person who doesnt talk much. A quiet one but yet, the one who brought home a lot of problems. About a year ago, he shifted back to my grandparents' place as he could not afford his own shelter anymore. He gambled. And went for other girls that caused his wife to leave him as well. He was jobless too. I remember before he lost his job, he was working as a driver for a market. He used to "bring" home the fresh vegetables home for us. When he was free, he likes to wash our cars for us. And there was once, I was very very mad at him because he scratched my car. The patch was very big but lucky, right below the car, not very obvious. His funeral was quiet, like him. He did not have much friends. People who came are majority the friends of my mother's friend, my younger uncle's friend, and relatives. It was really sad. I took 2 days off and stayed at the funeral. Dexter Bi was so nice that he accompanied us for two days too. However, our mood werent really that down as my little cousins are around. I dont think they know what had happened. On the third day, the last day, the closing ceremony, I was very very sick. I puked since 4am till 11pm. I was food poisoned. I called Dexter, and he was food poisoned too. So so unlucky. And because of that, I was send to the clinic and injected on my buttocks. OUCH. It was really bad. Yeah, I'm alright now but something happened yesterday that mad me very very mad. Some barbaric neighbor of mine, used his/her keys to scratch my car!!!!!!!!! Hello!!!!! What have I done? I parked at my own parking slot ok. I was so angry that I could bite off someone's ears. I went to the suspected house and ring the bell, all alone. Damn courageously. BUT NO ONE OPENS UP THE DOOR AND ASK ME WHAT'S UP. Shit you okay. One fine day, I'm gonna find out the culprit and doodle on your car :) And yeah, on the first day of the funeral, Bi's drove his brother Mazda RX8 and parked on my parking slot the whole day too. We went out with Tofu. And when we were back, guess what? Some stupid drivers knocked the back of the car. SO STUPID OK. Knocked a stationary car which was parked so nicely, not bothering anyone and yet, we do not know who was the stupid fellow. So unlucky okay. I am so angry now. Let me go shower and cool down. Shit you stupid drivers.

Because I love perler beads

One of the reasons why am I not blogging as often is because I'm so addicted to making perler beads! I first saw perler beads accessories during my Taiwan trip in March 2008. I thought they were very very cute but I had no idea what they were and I did not buy even a single of them. They were really cute. Then, I started to see this trend here in KL recently. Everywhere, bazaar and the internet. Everyone is making and selling them and yet, I have no idea what and how and why and where, I know nothing about them. Then I finally bought my very first piece online from Miut miut. Then coincidently, I found out that one of my very good friend, Puiyeen knows how to do it and it was during the time where I started to plan for my Envelopes! And so, I asked if she could supply us and she agreed! But I'm still not satisfied. I keep bugging her and asked her how she did it. Hahaha. Damn annoying. And for her bring kind, she lend me her stuffs and taught me how to do it. Since then, I'm addicted to it already. Besides the designs that she supplied, I added my own designs for sale too! You see lar... #01 I've got a jug of designs!! #02 My favourite design, the camera made by Puiyeen. #03 The oh-so-classic floopy disk. #04 Music notes! #05 The white bunny and the act cute me. Hahaha. #06 Cupcake and chocolate sundae. Yummy! #07 Somewhere over the rainbow... * My eyeliner got problem* :( #08 One complicated design, the bubblegum dispenser! I dint came up with this idea myself, I referred it from someone else. And I'm loving it! #09 SUSHI!!!! #10 I've got a tooth ache! :( Really, my wisdom tooth is killing me. #11 And hey, how can I forget about The Envelopes! :) :) :) And ya, all these are for sale. For more details about my perler beads accessories please click here!!! SUPPORT SUPPORT!! :) p/s : The ants are still in my room man. I wanna cry already!

Because tomorrow is coming soon

Yalar, I know lar. I have been neglecting my blog but I'm really busy because tomorrow is coming soon! Haha. Tomorrow, 080808 is when Olympics in Beijing starts, when I'm no longer a probation driver, and when my e-store is opening!! Muahahaha. CLICK! CLICK! CLICK! But not now lar, 2 more hours then its tomorrow already. Hahahaha. Remember to CLICK okay!