Thursday, March 8, 2007

Their Thoughts

Sometimes its funny to know that how the others think of yourself. And I really find some of the thought about me, myself ridiculous.

I remember the last time I had Korean dinner on the night before Lunar New Year, I accidentally swollen the fish's bones. I know that sounds very silly but the bones were very soft and tiny to be noticed. I felt s tortured when they were stuck on the inner part of my tongue that almost reaches my throat. My mum taught me to eat big scoops of rice to "stick" the bones out but it does not work.

It was so frustrating. I hate the feeling that gives me no more mood to continue my meal. Then, I moved my butt politely to the washroom just beside the cashier of the dining house. Yes, I started inserting my short little finger in to reach to the bones. Hoping that I could pull them out. I feel like vomiting so much. And still, the bones are still there.

Then for a moment, I realised what I was doing was quite similar to something called bulimia. According to definitions in dictionaries, bulimia simply means a habitual disturbance in eating behavior mostly affecting young women of normal weight, characterized by frequent episodes of grossly excessive food intake followed by self-induced vomiting to avert weight gain. Great! Now people in the restaurant thinks that I'm a bulimic. Plus I'm looking very thin, in a way that might give them the thought.

The people were starring at me when I came out of the washroom. I bet they could hear me "vomiting" in the toilet that is located in such a short distances from them. I saw them whispering. I saw them smiling in a very irritating way.


I'M NOT A BULIMIC. NOT AN ANOREXIC TOO.


Fine. Forget about it because I have way more examples of how bad the others think about me. I don't think I'm offending anyone by having a baby face right? Or they are just so jealous about it. Hahaha. How come they kept giving me bad comments on how I look one. I very tired one you know.

Yes, there is this bunch of people who labels me as a adult-wannabe when I'm seriously not. And the worse thing is, they don't even know me well. I'm 19 this year ok!!!! 20 on the following year!! So do you expect me to wear Miki House clothes or KikiLala's dress? I cannot wear mini skirt is it? I cannot wear lower cut top is it? I cannot wear make up is it? I cannot dye my hair is it? I cannot wear DIAMOND is it? I cannot wear heels is it?

I really hate to hear it when people start to point at me and say, "Aiyer, that girl baru how old? Wear until like that... Aiyo. Kids nowadays....." with an auntie slang. Then, continue by shaking that heads.

I'm so sick and tired of these already.......... Just keep quiet. I'm thin so what? You think I want is it? I'm 20 next year but I have a baby face and a mini body, you think I can control is it? Sigh.

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Comments on "Their Thoughts"

 

Anonymous shesaid... (March 08, 2007 7:04 PM) : 

anorexia? hahaha.

and ouch! that's quite sad being comment on the way you style right? :

 

Blogger Abcchinsaid... (March 08, 2007 7:48 PM) : 

BOO HOO! i understand gurl! i've been throught that. when u r trying out heels, cosmetics.. ppl will look at you.. one kind. because they thought. man how old are you now? another one, hair and then clothes.

i know its pain in the @ss. i've been throught that. these ppl love to comments when we din ask them to. blerghh

 

Blogger mshOneysaid... (March 08, 2007 8:10 PM) : 

ish.. babe, dnt care bout them ya? you're sweet and pretty in your way. its nice being thin btw, haha..gambateh! dnt worry,smile ya =)

 

Anonymous irissaid... (March 08, 2007 8:30 PM) : 

come on... dont take things so seriously. u are thin so what.. they are jealous ;) thats y =) and they cant wear DIAMONDs thats y ;p

 

Blogger aliasaid... (March 08, 2007 8:35 PM) : 

alot of makciks tell me that i am too young to wear branded make ups and designer goods. but the can kiss my big fat juicy ass because i like them.

you're thin, so what? take it as an advantage. while other fat girls trying to be thin like you. hik hik. that includes me.
come on, everybody's flawed. dont be so sad yeah? take a chill pill.
they're just jealous of you being adorable. haaaa. :D

 

Blogger secretbearsaid... (March 09, 2007 8:51 AM) : 

haha show them the finger XD

But seriously, just ignore them. People who critisize are usually insecure about themselves.


Oh and no news about the concert yet! :(

 

Anonymous phooiszesaid... (March 09, 2007 12:51 PM) : 

ahahah bullmic? If i get any fatter, I swear i'll do tht!

 

Blogger mshOneysaid... (March 09, 2007 5:16 PM) : 

look, we are all supporting you~ dnt worry girl.
im same as alia, used branded stuffs but not designers' la.and the ppls said i use fake stuffs.for me, they are just jealous =)
same to you~the ppls are just jealous!

 

Blogger vvenssaid... (March 09, 2007 11:33 PM) : 

she : yeah. so sould i wear more mature or more childish huh?

abcchin : yes lar. somemore we are now no longer teens alrady. :( i feel so old suddenly.

mshoney : hahaha. as long as we are comfortable with who are we now, in a positive way.

iris : but of course i wish to grow fatter. haha i dont wanna be the "bulimic girl".

alea : dont you call yourself fat ok!!!

secretbear : hahahaha. i wont do that one. i very good girl one mar. HAHA. XD

phooisze : NO WAY YOU CAN DO THAT! dont!

 

Blogger lydiasaid... (March 10, 2007 3:59 PM) : 

OH MY GOODNESS. i hate it. i hate it so much. I HATE IT.


hate people chai-ing the way i dress and the way i look as well. yeah we're petite, but at least we're not as shallow and uneducated like them!

 

Anonymous Anonymoussaid... (April 08, 2007 8:46 PM) : 

heyyyyy.
add me on myspace


www.myspace.com/toriixjadee0987

 

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