Tuesday, July 4, 2006

Senseless Post

Alright, I've just realised that I've nothing interesting or significant to blog about anymore. It seems like my life is turning down and dull. The everyday routine during the holidays sucks. At least it is now.

The feeling of being isolated with the others is worse when I have no friends to talk to, colleagues that have different wave lengths. And when I have nothing to do at all, I love to think. I can think of almost anything under the sun; mostly negative. Have you heard that mostly thin people has depression? I'm not sure but I guessed so.

Sometimes I've some points to rant about, gossips to talk about, problems to talk about and things to discuss about BUT I cannot find a suitable time to rant about, the right people to gossip with and the good listener to hear the bloody problems I'm encountering.

Sometimes I want to blog about my sorrow and sad stuffs but I'm afraid it would be a little to private to be shared here. I don't like to put up private stuffs in public yeah. This is what made PRIVATE and PUBLIC. Some poeple just don't understand. Sometimes I even typed them out but ended up deleting the post though there are only a small amount of guest in my blog.

I request for only simple things. A shoulder for me when I'm sad, some friends to hang out with when we have nothing better to do, someone to share my happy stuffs, someone who I can share my problems that no others will know about it. Very hard meh?

I admit that I've tons of friends, good friend I mean but WHY. Why most of them actaully betrayed me? Yes, even close friends that I trust betrayed me. I'm a sensitive girl. Even if it is a very minor thing for you, it might be a BIG ISSUE for me. I would not need to to keep it as a secret if I want the whole world to know. Sometimes people betray just to earn their own benefits. Don't be so selfish okay? I've feelings and I'm a friend of yours not a human to be betrayed.

Honestly, so far I've only A FEW friends that have never put me in this situation before. Very sad case right? Am I not good enough to be your friend or what? Or too good, too kind for you to climb over my head.

Yes lar, memang my bonding with my friends not very good ever since I met him. I just want to devote to him 100% and hoping the same from him in return. But I cannot expect him to lose his friends as well. Sometimes I want to be selfish but I know I cant. I don't want to be as annoying as some people around.

For a moment I was thinking, why am I so emotional huh? Menstrual punya pasal ke? Hahaha. Never mind, blabbing this out helps me to feel more relieved but don't take it as a joke. I'm still serious about this. ;)

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