Tuesday, April 25, 2006

An Emotional Day

"Don't feel guilty sir. It is not your fault..." said the students to Mr. Indy, One of our lecturer who we like a lot.

I bet he never know such thing will happen. He was just on his normal teaching plan. And suddenly something poped up in his mind while he was lecturing us on the subject, Introduction to Communication and Human Behaviour. We were learning about relationships between friends and commitment; subtopic- compliment. What poped up in his mind? His father, who passed away when he was 10 years old. Approximately 20 years ago.

He said that we should always treasure our chances whenever we have; a chance to say anything good to anybody. We will never know when will it be our last chance. He told us that his father died in an accident. He stepped out the house like usual and came back lying in a coffin. Sounds so sad. Y_Y

He said that he never had the chance to speak to his father. He was too young by then. Etc etc.. And when the stories come by this point, some girls started to sob. I hold my tears. I saw Carmen cried like a little girl and Cindy did not feel anything; i think she was not paying attention anyway. ;p And a pretty Bumiputra girl in my class, Jacqkielyn (nice name), cried like a little girl. The story remind her of her dad, who passed away too. Seeing her crying that bad made me sobbed too. At the moment i was still fine. I hold myself very hard not to cry. Because i was afraid that my tears would smerge my mascara.

I started to cry like a baby when she told us her story. A real sad story which I'm not going to mention here. Then, it leads to another girl who cried out loud, a hyperactuve girl, Jamie. All this things reminds her of her family again. This time, i find her story damn sad. I really pity her. It is like some story that i thought it only appear in Tv screens. By that time, everyone was quite. The only noise you can hear is just tissue wrappers' noise. Some even ran out of the classes to avoid the sad stories.

This time, i broke down. I cried because they made me think of my dad. Partly because i miss him. He left us when i was 10 too and promised to be back when i reach 12. I waited for his return till now. He did send some money for us for the first few months and later on.. Nothing. No news of him at all. We assumed that he began a new family there in New York. It is possible for me to have a guai-mui or guai-chai siblings now. ;p I remembered the last time me talking to him via phone was after the 911 incident. We were worried that if anything had happen to him. Phew. He is safe; and he was there during the incident!

Sigh, i cried mostly because of the situation we had to face after the left us. My mum took up the whole responsibility to look after the two kids. Not only that, she has to work few jobs at the same time to also take care of my grandparents. Sigh. Banyak problems I tak mau mention kat sini lar.... I think i'll flood my blog.

The worst thing was, i cried like a mad girl. I could not control myself. I could not catch my breathe. My heart beat was a double of the normal speed or even a triple. Oh my.. I looked like as if i had asthma. No, i dont. Just some breathing difficulties when i cry; when i try to hold very hard. And i went back to the normal mode about half an hour later. This is looooooooong. I think i shocked my friends. Sorry.

Everyone cried like small kids in kindergarten. And the lecturer was forced to stop the class one hour earlier. He hope he doen not feel guilty as the boys were also crying like the girls. Awww. This is not planned. I feel weird when the whole class was crying here and there. Hugging here and there. Its just so weird as it is not any farewell or what. This never happenes to me. First time huh. And i can feel that, the bond between the classmates are getting closer after today. ;)

Thanks peeps. Sorry if this entry is hard to understand. I'm still feeling kinda emotional now..

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